Kicking Against the Pricks

Photo 29-11-11 2 55 52 PM

A Double Whopper with Cheese, and a full-fat Coke.

Just a small gesture. A little token resistance. Probably not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But today it just felt good to do something bad.

And believe me, I’ve been really good. I’ve towed the line. I’ve done as I’m told. I’ve swallowed the medicine. Even the really bad medicine. I’ve stuck to the schedule. Followed the diet.

It hasn’t been easy

I hate being told what to do. Always have. I’ve absolutely no idea where it comes from. But ask anyone I’ve ever worked for. Tell me to Zig, and I’ll Zag. Guaranteed. Not in an angry, belligerent or confrontational way, but quietly and in my own time. I like to work things out for myself, and discover my own truths, even if it means reinventing the wheel more than once.Taking things on faith has never been my style.

The trouble with orthodoxy and prescribed wisdom is it’s all just a bit too easy. That doesn’t necessarily make it wrong. Just a bit… well, unsatisfying. Convenient but unsubstantial. Like fast food.

So back to the burger. Was it a revelation. An epiphany. A religious experience?

Not really no.

But it was pretty damn good.

Two limp, allegedly beef related patties, glistening alluringly with saturated fats and processed cheese the colour of custard, thrust between the flabby white cheeks of a sweaty sesame seed bum. Gherkins, onion, tomato relish and mayo. The token soggy lettuce leaf which I carefully removed. Plenty of time for lettuce, I’m only interested in the truly bad stuff today.

Yes it was good. In that cloying, guilty, slightly sordid way that junk food is meant to be. But ultimately, this wasn’t about the burger. It was partly about a little act of willful dissent, but mostly I think, about spending twenty minutes in the convivial company of fifty other unreconstructed hedonists. All happily abusing their digestive systems and clogging their arteries in the safe and certain knowledge that bad things always happen to someone else, and that they will all live to enjoy their ketchup-stained spare tires and pudgy grandchildren in guilt free repose.

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Kicking Against the Pricks? It’s a biblical reference (Acts (9:5 KJV). Google it you Philistines. Not bad for a devout Atheist Huh? Also a seminal 1986 Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds album.

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  1. Ian and Celia Smedley says:

    Hi Linds
    And we thought Kiwi’s were all a fit and healthy bunch (apart from the odd aggressive little cells) – hope you enjoyed your indulgence without any unpleasant after effects. Perhaps a bacon sarnie would go down well when you next feel in need of a fix, that should have the veggies slavering!

    Still loving the blog, Celia keeps sending the messages up just to keep all bases open

    By the way, the Bible might be a good source if you can’t find Google!

    Love Ian and Celia

  2. Sian Scott-Wilson says:

    Every time I enter a McDonald’s I think of you – sending your compliments to the chef after sampling a beefmeister about 10 years ago! It still makes me laugh.
    All our love Sian x

    • Linds says:

      Hi Sian! Great to hear from you. How are you? Where are you? Tell that work-shy fop Sion to give me a ring. It’s not catching.
      I have no recollection of the BeefMeister incident… Lxx

  3. Sian Scott-Wilson says:

    If it was we’d have got it by now! Cameron spent months in and out of the Starship with Non Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2008-9 – so I can virtually picture all your moves. I spent a lot of time eating eccles cakes from the cafeteria while waiting for the drugs to drip into him – more healthy foodstuffs! and consequently I am not half as glamorous as when you last saw me. On the other hand I seem to remember being heavily pregnant for most of the time we were all together, mainly in your garden in Parnell all those years ago. We are in Dubai and funnily enough Sion is at work (teacher’s work shorter hours than important ad execs!) but I’ll get him to ring, he’d love to catch up. Love to Jo and Becca and of course you too xxxxxx

  4. Sian Scott-Wilson says:

    Sorry – teachers should also have a better command of the apostrophe than copywriters but it seems not!

  5. iainallan says:

    Hi Lindsey,

    Heard about your predicament.

    Just wanted to let you know, thinking of you and your family.

    Iain Allan

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